I want to greet the boundless in everyone.

I need a viewpoint that is not my own.
I need a perspective that allows me to see more truth than I'm seeing right now.

Send me on a rocket to the moon so I can see our world and my little life with all the clarity of the universe.

Our culture is collapsing.

Everyone acknowledges it but nobody seems to care.

Everyone acknowledges that certain things need to change but nobody seems to believe that everything has to change.

We are so engulfed by our current way of living (current being thousands and thousands of years) that we can't see where we used to be or how beneficial to our survival it was.

We hold the belief that we are so superior that this way of agriculture and technology and everything else that goes along with it is just necessary and good as a part of our evolution as humans.

What about the ways of living that were actually beneficial to humans as well as the entire world, what about hunting gathering natural. what about that.

We know as a race that we've gotten it so fucked up that we use religion and the promise of an afterlife to cover the fact that we're killing off our own race, our own people.

but it doesn't matter when your mind is in that state. we know we'll die, but we only think of heaven. we don't think of the generations after us that will suffer immensely and eventually the collapse of human kind.

either that or we perpetuate our current state in a different way, by embracing our advances and ignoring the fact that it still isn't working right. we're still getting more sick and we're still fighting more wars- and no, I don't think it's because we're "sinful, fallen creatures...and that we need to be redeemed and the only way to do that is through Jesus". I think it's because we have got it so horribly wrong in the way we're running and controlling our lives.

we're becoming a robot people who thrive on machinery and efficiency and technology but that won't sustain us forever.

When will the earth start taking back from us everything we've taken from it?

When will all the other species start becoming stronger and start revolting against us, because we revolted against the natural order of life?

Our culture is not self sustainable.

and eventually we are going to use up every resource we have.

and then what

.

"When one does not see what one does not see, one does not even see that one is blind."

Paul Veyne

I like brain damage.

When I stop to think about it, most of the problems or troubles I've ever had are in my head.

Not that I've had a perfect life, but looking back on the years I can't find one thing I'd change.

Not a person, an experience, a feeling, nothing.

The only dramas I've lived out are the dramas of fear

of being terrified of being alive

more terrified of dying

terrified of hurting

or being hurt.

I think about it a lot, how I'd love to know what it feels like to have to summon up true bravery to get through something that wasn't entirely made up by fear.

to really have to fight for my life or help someone fight for theirs. What does it feel like to truly be a victim?

I can't say I've ever lived through anything that I didn't put myself through. I've victimized myself plenty.

But to have to fight for my own survival?

It makes me feel fortunate that I've never experienced that. It makes my own worries seem so much less important. Because most of my anxieties are based on the future and what is going to happen.

Each of my present moments is so blissful and full of joy. I only rob myself of that when I let the future have any sort of impact.

We got the handshake under our tongue

.

my fingers are weighted down like anchors that just want to sink as deeply as they can into ocean bottom.

but my brain forces them to type it's thoughts, to conjure up some words and images so i can see with my eyes what i'm feeling.

what i'm thinking.

and what i'm thinking is that life is crazier and more interesting than i ever thought it could be.

what i feel is blessed peace for the first time in a while.

complete contentment with where i am at this moment.

completely fulfilled by love.